I stayed in bed this morning an extra 45 minutes debating about whether I was going to get up and go to church. I knew I should go to church and I actually really wanted to go but for some reason I had to urge to just stay home and listen to a sermon online. But I finally got up and got ready. I would've been 45 minutes late but I decided to go to Lifepoint which started at 10:45. The sermon was really good. It was about tithes and offerings and how we should be cheerful givers. It was such an encouragement to me. I always tithe and its such a part of my routine that I don't even think twice about it. But, I was challenged today to give a little extra. Go above what I am expected to give and have faith to give a little more.
I used to sponsor a compassion child and I stopped because I felt like I couldn't afford it. I used to donate to to Alpha pregnancy center but I stopped because I thought I need that little bit of money each month for something else. I met a guy this weekend who is interning for Campus Crusades for christ and I wanted to help support him but I didn't because I don't make as much money as some other people. The pastor at church this morning told the story of the woman who put two coins in the offering basket. It may seem like something to be overlooked. If I were to put two pennies in our offering basket people would probably think I was being cheap. But what if those two pennies were all I had? What if I had the faith to give everything I had to God? What if I didn't go out to eat on the weekends and started supporting Campus crusades. What if I cut back on groceries and started donating to Alpha pregnancy center again? What if I took some of my spending money and put it aside just in case I come across someone in need? It may not be alot that I give in comparison to what others could give, but it would be a step out in faith for me.
I often tell people that I want to live my life completely and wholeheartedly for God. That statement is true. I want to live wholeheartedly for God, but it doesn't always happen. I am selfish sometimes. I forget that what I have is not mine. It is a gift my God. The truth is, none of us will ever have it completely perfect, but we can continue to be challenged in areas of our lives. I encourage you to look at your life and find somewhere that you are giving just enough. Maybe its in time or friendship or financially. Whatever it is, just take it to the next level. Give a little more. Step out in faith and see how God will provide and how he will work through you.
Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday :)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Nothing in particular
So, it has been quite a while since I've written a blog. I haven't even been on blog spot to write a blog. My original intention was to blog often. Unfortunately, I'm a procrastinator and I have a tendency not to stick to things. So, I'm sure you are wondering what could have possibly brought me back to the art of blogging. Well.... the answer is Yahoo. You know how everytime you get on Yahoo to check your email there are those little tidbits of news or random articles that come up. Well I saw one for how to make some extra money. #1 was blogging. So, apparently you can make money off of this little hobby here. I haven't figured out quite yet how to go about making the big bucks but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
One piece of advice I found on blogging for money was to write about what you are passionate. So, of course I had to ask myself, "What are you passionate about?" One should know prior to asking themself that question what the answer is but unfortunately I did not. I have no clue what to write about. That is why I have been rambling on about nothing for the past two paragraphs.
So, I guess for lack of anything else to talk about, I'll tell you a little about myself. I am 26 years old. I am single and I live in a townhouse with two roommates. I have a psychology degree and I love people. I work with developmentally disabled. I like my job but I don't think its what I want to do for the rest of my life. But, I don't really know what it is I want to do. Part of me wants to be a counselor. Part of me wants to be a social worker. Part of me wants to wait until I get married and just be a housewife and stay at home mother. Part of me wants to be in full-time ministry or be a missionary. All of these jobs are things I really want. I want more than anything to be a wife and mother. I really really really want to live my life for Jesus and have that be my full time job. I would absolutely love to do missions regularly. But is it possible to do all of these things in one lifetime? Would God have given me all of these desires just for the heck of it? I certainly hope not. But if He does want me to do these things than what's my next step? Where do I go from here? If only making decisions were easy.
Well, for a little bit more about me..... I am going to Africa this summer on a missions trip. Like I said earlier I would love to do missions regularly but I have wanted to go to Africa for as long as I can remember. It's hard for me to believe that I will actually be there in about a month. My dream will be fulfilled. Some questions that are going through my head are "Will I love it as much as I thought I always would?" "Will I hate it?" "If I hate it, why did I have the dream of going for so long? "Why does God want me to go there?" "Will His purpose for me be revealed in this trip?" Not to mention, all of the fears of going outside my comfort zone to fly by myself and go to another country on my own. The thing is, this is so far out of my comfort zone that if I can do this and do it well then there's no telling what else I can do. The whole world is at my fingertips if I just step out in faith.
Now for an end to this blog about nothing in particular. I really hope you all have a wonderful day. I pray blessings over each person who reads this blog. Hopefully you will leave some comments. Give me some ideas to blog about :) Alrighty, peace out homeskillet.
One piece of advice I found on blogging for money was to write about what you are passionate. So, of course I had to ask myself, "What are you passionate about?" One should know prior to asking themself that question what the answer is but unfortunately I did not. I have no clue what to write about. That is why I have been rambling on about nothing for the past two paragraphs.
So, I guess for lack of anything else to talk about, I'll tell you a little about myself. I am 26 years old. I am single and I live in a townhouse with two roommates. I have a psychology degree and I love people. I work with developmentally disabled. I like my job but I don't think its what I want to do for the rest of my life. But, I don't really know what it is I want to do. Part of me wants to be a counselor. Part of me wants to be a social worker. Part of me wants to wait until I get married and just be a housewife and stay at home mother. Part of me wants to be in full-time ministry or be a missionary. All of these jobs are things I really want. I want more than anything to be a wife and mother. I really really really want to live my life for Jesus and have that be my full time job. I would absolutely love to do missions regularly. But is it possible to do all of these things in one lifetime? Would God have given me all of these desires just for the heck of it? I certainly hope not. But if He does want me to do these things than what's my next step? Where do I go from here? If only making decisions were easy.
Well, for a little bit more about me..... I am going to Africa this summer on a missions trip. Like I said earlier I would love to do missions regularly but I have wanted to go to Africa for as long as I can remember. It's hard for me to believe that I will actually be there in about a month. My dream will be fulfilled. Some questions that are going through my head are "Will I love it as much as I thought I always would?" "Will I hate it?" "If I hate it, why did I have the dream of going for so long? "Why does God want me to go there?" "Will His purpose for me be revealed in this trip?" Not to mention, all of the fears of going outside my comfort zone to fly by myself and go to another country on my own. The thing is, this is so far out of my comfort zone that if I can do this and do it well then there's no telling what else I can do. The whole world is at my fingertips if I just step out in faith.
Now for an end to this blog about nothing in particular. I really hope you all have a wonderful day. I pray blessings over each person who reads this blog. Hopefully you will leave some comments. Give me some ideas to blog about :) Alrighty, peace out homeskillet.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Brokenness
My focus since the beginning of the year has been on intimacy with my God. I thought I knew what this meant. I thought I understood how I would go about becoming intimate with God. I would just pray a lot and read my bible. I would fast every now and then and spend time with other people who were doing the same things. Now, don’t take this the wrong way and think that I do not have a relationship with God. I have a very real and personal relationship with God. However, I wanted and still do want a deeper more intimate relationship with Him. I want to know Him and live completely for Him. There is still a very big part of me that is living for myself and I don’t want that. I was listening to a Bill Johnson message earlier today and one of the profound things he said, among many, was that brokenness needs to be consistent and regular.
For some reason I have it in my head that I need to be all together. I need to be strong and know exactly what to say and when to say it. I need to be a great daughter and a great sister and a great friend and be there for everyone who needs me. I need to have myself at a place where I never struggle with being single and I’m completely content with not being a mother. These are all good things. I want to be there for people that need me. I want to be content in whatever my circumstances are. These are Godly things. However, when the motives are focused around me and what I want they become selfish desires.
Brokenness is not easy. I remember being broken. I remember crying out to God in desperation because no one else around could hear me. I remember feeling like my whole world was caving in. I remember the shame I felt because people knew my sin, because God knew my sin. But I also remember when God met me there. I remember God speaking to me and telling me that everything was going to be ok. I remember Him holding me and loving me like no person on this earth could ever love me. I remember how He promised that I would be redeemed and I remember the moment when I knew He had kept that promise.
That time of brokenness was one of the hardest times of my life but also one of the best times of my life. God had never been so real to me. I don’t think God is asking of me or anyone else to put ourselves in the pit of despair so that he can meet us there. I don’t think he wants us to suffer. But I do think that he wants us to lay down our lives for Him. He wants us to be aware of the fact that we are not complete. We are not perfect. I will never be strong enough to handle everything the world can throw at me. I cannot be the perfect friend all the time. I will say stupid things and probable hurt people’s feelings when I really didn’t want to. I will probably tear someone down when I really wanted to build them up. I will be sad sometimes when I’m around married people because I want to be married. And I will be jealous sometimes when I’m around mothers because I want to be a mother. God didn’t ask me to deal with these things. He asked me to lay them before Him, to allow myself to be real with Him and to be honest about my struggles. He asked me to be genuine and laid bare before Him in brokenness so that He can be given the glory. So that when I am strong, it will be clear that it is not me but the One who loves me that makes me strong. So that when I have the opportunity to build someone up and speak life over them it is clear that those words are not out of my mouth but out of the mouth of a God who created them. So that when I am given the desires of my heart it will be clear that I am given those things because He loves me and has promised me those things not because of anything I could ever to do to deserve them. So God I pray that you will break me. Break me in a million pieces if you have to. I want to live my life for you.
For some reason I have it in my head that I need to be all together. I need to be strong and know exactly what to say and when to say it. I need to be a great daughter and a great sister and a great friend and be there for everyone who needs me. I need to have myself at a place where I never struggle with being single and I’m completely content with not being a mother. These are all good things. I want to be there for people that need me. I want to be content in whatever my circumstances are. These are Godly things. However, when the motives are focused around me and what I want they become selfish desires.
Brokenness is not easy. I remember being broken. I remember crying out to God in desperation because no one else around could hear me. I remember feeling like my whole world was caving in. I remember the shame I felt because people knew my sin, because God knew my sin. But I also remember when God met me there. I remember God speaking to me and telling me that everything was going to be ok. I remember Him holding me and loving me like no person on this earth could ever love me. I remember how He promised that I would be redeemed and I remember the moment when I knew He had kept that promise.
That time of brokenness was one of the hardest times of my life but also one of the best times of my life. God had never been so real to me. I don’t think God is asking of me or anyone else to put ourselves in the pit of despair so that he can meet us there. I don’t think he wants us to suffer. But I do think that he wants us to lay down our lives for Him. He wants us to be aware of the fact that we are not complete. We are not perfect. I will never be strong enough to handle everything the world can throw at me. I cannot be the perfect friend all the time. I will say stupid things and probable hurt people’s feelings when I really didn’t want to. I will probably tear someone down when I really wanted to build them up. I will be sad sometimes when I’m around married people because I want to be married. And I will be jealous sometimes when I’m around mothers because I want to be a mother. God didn’t ask me to deal with these things. He asked me to lay them before Him, to allow myself to be real with Him and to be honest about my struggles. He asked me to be genuine and laid bare before Him in brokenness so that He can be given the glory. So that when I am strong, it will be clear that it is not me but the One who loves me that makes me strong. So that when I have the opportunity to build someone up and speak life over them it is clear that those words are not out of my mouth but out of the mouth of a God who created them. So that when I am given the desires of my heart it will be clear that I am given those things because He loves me and has promised me those things not because of anything I could ever to do to deserve them. So God I pray that you will break me. Break me in a million pieces if you have to. I want to live my life for you.
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